Eight-Week Course
Week 6
Human make-up and
Mindfulness in Daily Life
Everything in you and everything about you is working for your good
— or it is trying to.
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So, everything in you and everything about you is working:
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to keep you safe,
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to help you 'get on',
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to help you feel comfortable and at ease
— or it is trying to.
In this session we introduce some practices for use in daily life. (Short-cut here to those.) But first, we'll explore a simple approach to understanding the basic drives and emotional systems which are part of our make-up and which are doing their best to help us, but don’t (in reality) always work for our good. As we learn to understand these drives more fully, so we will be able to relate to them more wisely, and so live more wisely too.
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This simplified schema is based on the work of Professor Paul Gilbert (University of Derby). He's a pioneer in research on brain science in relation to kindness and compassion and is keen to promote mindfulness practices. He's founder of compassion Focused therapy.
In the following short video Teresa Lewis (9 minutes) outlines the system and gives some examples of what imbalance between the systems can show itself in real-life situations. It's an excellent explanation and certainly worth watching. After opening the link, if you click on the grey box beneath the video you'll find a reading list and an explanation of the three systems. All excellent.
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Find the video here or click the image below.
Page updated
27-3-24
Here is how Teresa Lewis summarizes Paul Gilbert's three systems:
THE THREAT SYSTEM: The Red Zone
The threat system is activated by threat and danger. The threat system is actually your 'default setting' so it will over-rule both the drive and soothing systems. The threat system has been fined tuned over thousands of years of evolution and has evolved to detect threats quickly and mobilise a response that’s geared towards survival. Over much of our evolution the major threats were predators but nowadays human being have few predators but the threat system can be triggered by emotional and social threats. For example, signals that someone is judging you, feelings of rejection, isolation, criticism and exclusion.
THE DRIVE SYSTEM: The Blue Zone
The function of this system is to motivate and encourage you to seek out resources for yourself and for those you love and care about such as food, shelter, work, qualifications and even social position. The drive system is active and centres around striving, achieving and consuming. When you achieve these resources the reward is pleasurable because dopamine is released in your brain. The emotions connected with the drive system include excitement, anticipation and joy.
THE SOOTHING SYSTEM: The Green Zone
The soothing system is a completely different system to the threat and drive systems. This is the capacity for feeling soothed, to feel at peace, to feel connected with others and to feel content. Emotions connected to the soothing system are warmth, calmness, contentment and a sense of well-being. Your threat and drive emotions are essential for your survival and reproduction but if you’re constantly on the move, pursuing, fighting or running away you would soon exhaust yourself so the soothing system enables you to slow down, rest and recuperate. This system is less important for immediate survival but very important for longer term survival. Mammals can only survive when they are able to receive care, give care and form social bonds. Evolution has shaped the soothing system to be highly sensitive to signals of kindness, care and affection from others. It taps into the hormone oxytocin which is sometimes known as the 'cuddle hormone' or the 'love hormone.'
because it’s released when people snuggle up or bond socially.
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All three systems are essentially good and are looking to work for our good: to keep us safe, to help us get on, and to see that we're comfortable and content. But they can get out of kilter. Part of our way of growth is to learn how to bring the systems into harmony. And this means learning practical skills, not just learning a theory.
But as these come into harmony as we learn not to be run around by our hopes and fears, by pleasure and pain, so we will also become more of a blessing for others which God would have us be — and wherein we find our fulfilment.
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Paul Gilbert's book influential book on compassion.
The following section on the Sabbath is probably too long. (I got carried away.) It would probably fit better somewhere else on the site.
I'll perhaps move it soon.
The Sabbath
'It's not so much that the Jews kept the Sabbath as that the Sabbath kept the Jews.'
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The Sabbath has been an essential element in Jewish life since the very beginning. The Sabbath has long been understood as having both a practical purpose, namely rest and refreshment, and also a deeper, more mystical purpose too. Included in both is a concern for community, for fellowship, for building good relationships and warm-hearted care for others
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The Sabbath has been spoken of as offering the Jewish community a foretaste of the ease and peace and fullness of life proper the eternal Kingdom. The Sabbath sees the Kingdom breaking into time. And the Sabbath gives an opportunity to practise living in the Kingdom.
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The Sabbath is all about the Green Zone. At least it is when viewed properly.
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Sadly, what has all too often happened is that the call to keep the Sabbath has been misunderstood or misconstrued, even within much of Judaism itself. it seems to be have been misunderstood in the time of Jesus himself. The Sabbath was no longer about the Green Zone. It became something more to do with the Red Zone: 'Look out. You'll be punished if you get it wrong'; or about things related to the Blue Zone: 'We must get the Sabbath 'right'; we must work at it, keeping it perfectly; then we will receive blessings.'
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The Sabbath certainly has a mixed history. But even so, there have been many periods in Jewish history where both the 'visionary' richness and the practical value of the Sabbath have been appreciated, such that it shaped the life and the hope of every Jewish family and of the Jewish community as a whole. Hence the statement: 'It's not so much that the Jews kept the Sabbath as that the Sabbath kept the Jews.'
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Sunday, by the way, has a completely different in character from the Sabbath, and it's a pity that this hasn't always been understood. For many centuries no one in the church applied Sabbath commandment to Sunday. ​Even to this day Orthodox Christians (at least in theory) observe both the Saturday-Sabbath and the Sunday-Lord's Day. St Gregory Nyssa, a great theologian and bishop of the fourth century, spoke of Saturday and Sunday as 'sisters', and said that we couldn't expect to honour the one if we didn't also honour the other.
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But while the Sabbath is about completion and fulfilment; Sunday is about beginnings.
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After all, Jesus having risen from the dead on Easter morning (which was, of course, a Sunday) didn't then pause for a rest! He had rested in the tomb on the Saturday-Sabbath having completed his work on Friday, on the cross.
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A final point on the Sabbath, on rest, and on the Green Zone - and it's an important one. We tend to think of resting as being something to do with recovery after the exhaustion of activity. We've had a busy week, we need the weekend to get over it. But there's different understanding. We rest, as it were, forwards. We rest not so much to get over the past as to prepare for what comes next.
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So it is in the first biblical creation story, Genesis 1:1-2:3 ​— which we needn't take as being either science or history as we know them now but which is nonetheless very profound​— Adam and Eve are created on the sixth day and the first thing they do is rest on the Sabbath! They're getting ready for what comes next. It's paralleled in the way Jesus completes his work on the cross, then rests in the tomb, and then begins a new work with when he inaugurates a new era for all humanity thought his resurrection.
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The Bible Project team have produced an interesting and very beautiful video on the theme of the Sabbath. Find that here. The video doesn't cover all the ground I discuss in the previous few paragraphs, but I did explore them in my PhD thesis and the ideas I explored in that work are also discussed in my book, 'Living in the Eighth Day.' (The 'Eighth Day' is an early Christian term for Sunday and for the beginning of a new creation.)
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Click the titles and links below to jump to the other pages from this course.
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Eight-Week course: Introduction
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Week 1: Making a Start
Click the image for a three-minute self-compassion break from Teresa Lewis. She uses the same three-step pattern as Kristin Neff.
It's not unusual to find ourselves caught up in fear and anxiety, sometimes manifesting as irritation or anger. This is the Red Zone.
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Some times we are driven along by the need to 'be successful' and to 'get on.' This can manifest as pushiness, intolerance of others, and fierce ambition. And it can result in burnout or, alternatively, we become disillusioned: we've achieved what we wanted and got the things we felt we needed, but it's not enough; it's never enough. it doesn't satisfy us in the way we thought it would. This is the realm of the Blue Zone.
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It's not uncommon for someone's life and relationships to be characterised by their entanglement in one or other of the zones.
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What many of us need to rebalance our lives is more time in the Green Zone, the zone of rest and recovery, of comfort and contentment, of renewal and new vision. It is also the zone of community and inter-personal connection. In the Green Zone we can acquire new perspectives on life.
The possible down-side of the Green Zone is becoming docile and passive.
It's good to hang out in the Green Zone
The cover image is the central section of an 16th century Russian icon which features images related to the themes commemorated in the Orthodox Christian weekly cycle of services. This central image represents Christ in glory and and the final Great Sabbath.
I hadn't ever thought of it like this (and I mention it now rather as a joke) but could we say that the Christ is enthroned in the Green Zone?
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Or perhaps, as Revelation suggests, he sits on a rainbow throne, with everything beautiful, everything in balance. (Rev 4:3) ...
Or again, JB Phillips in his translation writes: '... all around the throne there shone a halo like an emerald rainbow.'
Click the image for the Bible Project video on the Sabbath. It explores themes such as rest, fulfilment, the work of Jesus, and the Eighth Day, which is the Day of the Resurrection and the dawn of a new creation.
'Don't fuss. It is all my work.'
These words are said to have been heard by Saint Angela of Foligno (1238-1309) at a time when she felt overwhelmed by the challenges of her work among the poor.
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Informal practices ...
(I hope soon to post more suggestions about informal practices on the Core Practices page.)
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Mindfulness is not just something for our daily quiet times — those special times when we do a body scan or sit for 10, 20, 30 minutes of breath-awareness. Mindfulness can overflow into our daily life, and it can do this in lots of different ways. We can find that we are beginning to live what we might call 'a mindful life'. This doesn't mean spending the whole day moving from one set practice to another. Rather it means that we are coming to use our mindfulness skills 'naturally' to enhance and enrich our lives moment by moment, day by day.
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In this way, we begin to see ordinary, everyday things as fascinating, delightful, a source of joy. What are these 'little things'? They will be different for each one of us — and, indeed, for each one of us will be different every day. See what you find: it might be a flower, even a mere 'weed' growing in the hedgerow or at the curb-side. It might be a tiny insect creeping along the windowsill. It might be the pattern or sparkling glaze on our everyday coffee mug. If we think about it, every day we thoughtlessly toss aside into the rubbish bin or recycling box countless things that would have amazed our ancestors, even our grandparents. the focus here, though, is not so much with thinking about how wonderful things are but with experiencing, sights and sounds and scents and tastes. (Probably not a good idea to taste the insect and always be careful which weeds you eat!) Also, can we experience our response to these things? What physical or emotional response do we have (if any)? And what patterns of thought emerge? As usual, the key thing is noticing what arises and being aware, all without getting caught up in judgment or self criticism (as best we can).
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The key thing is that we can gradually learn to be more engaged in the flow of life, more present to what its happening both in us and around us. We can find ourselves, for example, more aware of and present to what's there to be seen even in such everyday places as the local supermarket or shopping centre, or even in the street or road where we live, even our own garden or in countryside we are driving though.
Anywhere, everywhere that we're familiar with we tend to pass through without really noticing. that's also true of the paces we live in — including the rooms of our own home. If we can, as it were, 'step back' (perhaps thought a three-breath pause) we will then see things that we'd never noticed before, even though they were there all the time, even though it's a room in our own home.
This is not a matter of 'hunting' for experiences or insights. It's not what was suggested in the old-fashioned 'Eye-Spy' books, where we're asked to go out looking for things. It's something quite different. If we ease away from the busyness of our minds we find that we see things that we'd never noticed before. These will usually be things that were always there but we never noticed. I find that every time I do a bit of mindful walking (even a fee moments or a few minutes) the world somehow looks completely different, completely new. The best way I can describe it is to say the world seems to go into 3-D and full colour. It's as though I've usually been living in a flattened-out and greyed-out world. It's amazing. Every time it's amazing and takes me by surprise.
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At home, even (or perhaps especially) in a room that's very familiar to us., if we close our eyes, take a three-breath pause, settle into the body and engage with the sensations of breathing, then when we open our eyes we might find that we see our old, long-familiar room as if for the first time. (it won't always happen; it doesn't happen if we're trying to make it happen; but it will happen if we, as it were, ease back and let it happen.)
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The experience is not one of 'let me reach out to see what's there' but of stepping back and allowing the word to come to me.
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Leaning in and leaning back: A narrow focus and wide focus
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A helpful thing with any experience or sensation is to alternate between what we might call leaning in and leaning back. An analogy might help. If we're looking at a painting we might focus in on some detail, perhaps the particular way some figure is painted or some feature in a face, and then we lean back or stand back to see the picture as a whole. We can do that with a view across fields or towards mountains, at one time focusing on a particular feature, then leaning back to get the wider view. We focus in and focus out so as to get the bigger picture.
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It can be the same with, for example, some sensation in the body: focus in and experience it 'in detail', with precision, then lean back for a wider view, a bigger picture. Learning to move between the detail and the bigger picture can be very helpful. Try it.
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On a similar point, there's good evidence that when we're out and about, say in the countryside or a park but even simply out of doors, it is somehow healing to take in a wider view, a view that encompasses the horizon.
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These simple things can help us move away from being too focused on ourselves, too inward-looking, too self-preoccupied. Look to the bigger picture. Jesus says something similar in Luke's Gospel: 'Now when these things begin to take place, stand up and raise your heads, because your redemption is drawing near.' Luke 21:28). Jesus was speaking about the immanent destruction of Jerusalem and the collapse of Israel's long-held hopes for success as an earthly political power, but we can see how in our own lives, and especially when the pressure is on, the call to 'look up' might be helpful. Again, try it.
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Our relationships with other people
Growing in our capacity for relationship and for kindly relationships
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Keep in mind that through our mindful practices we will learn to be more present to other people. We'll become better listeners, more sensitive, more able to relate. (And something not to overlook, as part of all this we'll also become a become a better and more sensitive friend to ourself.) Even there, leaning in (focussing in) and leaning back to se the bigger picture can be very helpful
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​Our life becomes richer. Formal practices provide the foundation, but they produce fruit in a growing openness to life as it arises around us — and to life as it arises within us too.
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Keep things simple.
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It has been said that mindfulness is always essentially simple.
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So, if it's not simple, it's not mindfulness.
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Don't try too hard.
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And don't worry. It takes time
to learn to be simple.
A simple exercise:
At home, as if for the first time.
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At home, in a room that's very familiar to us, we close our eyes, take a three-breath pause, settle into the body and engage with the sensations of breathing. Then, after just a few seconds, when we open our eyes we might find that we see this room as if for the first time.
This experience can take us by surprise. It can be quite magical.
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(This won't always happen every time that we try the practice. We'll probably notice that it doesn't happen if we're trying to make it happen. But it will happen if, as it were, we ease back and let it happen.)
Home Practice Week 6
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Formal Practice
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Each day (well, six days out of seven), try to give ten minutes to each of two practices.
If that seems too much, simply be aware of your hesitation or resistance ... and be open to the possibility of doing more than you initially think you can. In other words, don't try to force yourself to do more (which in the long run doesn't help), but be open to that possibility.
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Continue with some of the practices from Kristin Neff, either body awareness or self-compassion pr use other things from the practices section of the resource page. Or maybe try a body scan practice from Teresa Lewis. Find the link in the box to the right.
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Try the gratitude practice or the loving-kindness practice. Both gratitude and kindness lie at the heart of Christian life and of personal maturity. Their complement is trust/faith, i.e., trusting that God is at work for our good even when it doesn't seem like that or feel like that to us. Links to both will soon by on the Core Practices and Resources pages. (Apologies for the delay in posting them.)
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Informal practice, a few ideas
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Simple practices like those outlined here can help us experience in a new way the most ordinary things of life.
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Walk around the house barefoot for a few minutes, experiencing the different textures and and different feel of the surfaces beneath us.
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If you have a suitable garden or outdoor area you might do the same. It can enrich the experience to do this with our eyes closed, provided, of course, that we will be safe.
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You might also try moving around more slowly. That too can help us experience familiar things in a new way.
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Move around the house or garden (or anywhere safe) simply being with whatever is is most prominent in your awareness. It might be the sound of your feet on the floor; maybe it is the air moving across your face or hands; the sound of floor creaking slightly (maybe it always does this but you haven't noticed it for year); maybe it is the touch of your clothing on your body. See what is is for you: you'll probably be surprised.
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As you're doing this practice it can help to make a simple 'mental note' of whatever is most prominent in your awareness; for example, 'Swishing sound' (from my dressing gown), 'Cold sensation' (for the tiled floor), 'Seeing' (sunlight beaming in), 'Hearing' (traffic sounds outside or birdsong, or the sound of the central heating turning on — or when you become aware of the sound of the boiler) ... ...
Keep in simple, and maybe also notice your emotions or 'emotional tone' as these come into awareness and then fade away ...
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(For guidance on 'mental noting' click here.)
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Remember Leaning in and leaning back (See above)
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A helpful thing with any experience or sensation is to alternate between what we might call leaning in and leaning back. An analogy might help. If we're looking at a painting we might focus in on some detail, perhaps the particular way some figure is painted or some feature in a face, and then we lean back or stand back to see the picture as a whole. We can do that with a view across fields or towards mountains, at one time focusing on a particular feature, then leaning back to get the wider view. We focus in and focus out so as to get the bigger picture.
​
It can be the same with, for example, some sensation in the body: focus in and experience it 'in detail', with precision, then lean back for a wider view, a bigger picture. Learning to move between the detail and the bigger picture can be very helpful. Try it.
​
On a similar point, there's good evidence that when we're out and about, say in the countryside or a park but even simply out of doors, it is somehow healing to take in a wider view, a view that encompasses the horizon.
​
These simple things can help us move away from being too focused on ourselves, too inward-looking, too self-preoccupied. Look to the bigger picture. Jesus says something similar in Luke's Gospel: 'Now when these things begin to take place, stand up and raise your heads, because your redemption is drawing near.' Luke 21:28). Jesus was speaking about the immanent destruction of Jerusalem and the collapse of Israel's long-held hopes for success as an earthly political power, but we can see how in our own lives, and especially when the pressure is on, the call to 'look up' might be helpful. Again, try it.
Have a cup of tea or coffee while not doing anything else. (Other beverages might be available.)
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Just have the drink, no radio, no smartphone, TV or newspaper. Notice sensations from the drink (taste and sense of warmth on the tongue and in the mouth, any scent in the nose, its appearance in the cup, mug or glass); notice perhaps things like your impatience that the drink taking a long time to cool, or your frustration with the way your mind and attention wander; notice how sensations and feeling come and go, or linger and grow; notice enjoyment - or disappointment; and when the drink ends — notice how that feels too, and how you feel about your experience. And in all of this, try to ease back from judgment and self-criticism. Perhaps allow yourself to open up to having an attitude of that says, 'Ah yes. This is what is happening. This is what's going on.' Be simple. Be honest. Be ordinary.
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Maybe make a cup of tea of coffee more slowly than usual — or do some other routine task more slowly and with more awareness.
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Can you approach some everyday task in a slightly different way, easing back ease away from this task 'on autopilot', automatically, while not engaged with what's happening? The aim is to noting more than to notice whatever comes to awareness. The invitation is not to 'try to do this better than ever before.' The invitation is to notice and to be aware. And being with the direct awareness of sensations, thoughts and feelings can help us drop out of autopilot. We, as it were, step out of the familiar, established, engrained world of our thoughts and imaginings and step into the real world, into what is actually there.
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'In formal' compassion and connectedness
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When out and about, perhaps in the shops or walking through town, or when sitting on a bus or in a busy supermarket queue, extend goodwill toward people around you. They each have hopes and fears and rich and complex lives. Perhaps say phrases you might use in more formal loving-kindness practice. (Saying them silently might be best!) 'May you now ease and peace', 'May you know safety and well-being', 'May you know joy and freedom from fear', 'May you know God's comfort and his blessings.' and so on ... We are acknowledging the common humanity we share with everyone around us, indeed with all people whether we now them or not. Notice how you are more willing to extend good-will to some people than to others. Notice how on some days you're more willing to do this. (Simply notice, don't try to force things, but be open to the possibility of change. You don't have to stay as you are. But the point of of change is noticing that you perhaps would like to change or, at least, would be willing to give it a try.)
This practice can be transformative. We might begin with a sense or an idea that we might share common humanity with all other people and we discover that we really do!
Do some other routine thing more slowly than usual ...
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How about eating a meal or even a snack more slowly, and with nothing like the TV or radio on or music playing? How about putting down your knife and fork between each mouthful? You might notice the flavours and the texture of the food in new or unexpected ways. (notice too any reluctance you have to do this practice or any impatience part way through the meal or snack. Just notice, no need to try to correct yourself. The practice (like all mindfulness practices) is essentially an exercise is awareness. We're not trying to reform ourselves or to do things better. Yes, we are looking for change, but deep and meaningful change will come as a gift, not as something we bring about by our own efforts, our own striving.
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Meaningful change always comes as something we receive,
not something we achieve.
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We can rightly be pleased about deep, positive change,
but there's no room here for pride:
we can rightly delight in a gift
but there would be something strange if
we saw the gift as our achievement.
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Click the image for a 15-minute self-guided body-scan from Teresa Lewis.
Other 'habit breakers'
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Sit at home in a different chair.
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Try a different route to the shops or on your daily walk with the dog.
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Try a different café or in your favourite café sit in a different seat. Try a different cake ...
Pause more often, look around, take a few breaths. Refresh life.
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Allow yourself to day-dream, and if/when you find yourself entangled in thoughts (perhaps planning for the future or reliving the past), invite and allow yourself to go back to day-dreaming.
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A lot of our life can go past without us being really present in our own live.
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We human beings have tendency — and it is often a very strong tendency — to live our lives on 'autopilot', so that we do not really notice what's going on around us and we are not even aware of what's going on within us either.
We can spend a lot of the day )even a lot our our lives) absent from our own life — and missing out on the wonder and variety of our lives, what we might call its 'richness' or even its treasury of riches.
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​So can we perhaps take up the invitation to 'ease back'. the invitation to go more slowly?
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Can we take up the invitation to 'make space' to let life come in?
Can we make space to let life let life be real for us?
That's nothing other than letting our own life be real for us!
